watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
