dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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