The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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