Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
