Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
