I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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