Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
