Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
