i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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