Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.