I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises