do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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