Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
