So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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