Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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