I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
