i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
