I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
