CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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