I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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