I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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