Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize