I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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