i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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