He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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