Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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