she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
