I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want a musical about memes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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