My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
