he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
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There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
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I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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