Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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