Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize