my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize