we're blogging at a bar
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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