I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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