VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
