Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
