you win again, gameday.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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