i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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