the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
what day is it and did you see me today?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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