well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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