Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
