i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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