You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
