Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
