I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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