he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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