then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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