3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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