She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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