this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize