he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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