Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
In America we eat man semen.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
