I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
