Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
