then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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