I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
