Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
