no, he came in my armpit
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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