That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
